You may not believe this, but I've NEVER consumed an "energy drink" of any sort; no Red Bull, no Monster, no nothing. Fuck that. I have enough nervous tension running through my veins without the addition of that crap. Perhaps if I was many years younger I'd be chugging the stuff before history class in high school - I can't be sure. But these days, I'll stick to coffee.

In any case, if I was going to down an energy drink, it most certainly would not be a Rockstar product. Why, you ask? Because, although they help to sponsor some amazing tours (am I being sarcastic?), I have a problem with this fact: Rockstar's founder and CEO is Russell Weiner, son of radio talk show host Michael Weiner, better known as Michael Savage.

If you're not familiar with Michael Savage, I advise you to remain that way. I won't bother listing some of his more vile comments, since Wikipedia is just a click or two away, but I would like to repeat something he said last week about autism:

"I'll tell you what autism is. In 99% of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out... That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.'"

Luckily, I don't have any immediate family members with autism, but I do know some parents of autistic children, and the above statement is one of the most ignorant (and profoundly stupid) remarks ever to be made on a national radio show. Savage is reportedly the third most-listened to radio talk show host in the U.S. (behind Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity), an extremely frightening notion.

His most infamous gaffe caused his termination from MSNBC in 2003. He said the following to a caller during his TV show: "Oh, so you're one of those sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig; how's that?" That may be acceptable on Lambgoat.com (what a wretched place), but not on national TV. He was immediately canned, just four months after getting the job.

So anyway, what's my point? I don't have one, really. Move along.

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I saw this Myspace bulletin yesterday from August Burns Red and thought it was worth passing on:

"So lately I've been reading about a lot of bands getting their stuff stolen. This is nothing new, but there just seem to be a lot more news posts about it. I hate to hear bands say that we can never recover from this because we can't afford to pay for new gear. However there is something you can do about. You can insure your stuff! Just talk to the people who insure your parents home. With my company (Erie Insurance), you can make an Inland Marine Policy. Pretty much you pay 75 dollars a year and you can insure thousands of dollars worth of stuff. It's so cheap and extremely worth it in my opinion. This way if you break something or all of your gear gets stolen all you pay for is the deductible. I know a lot of you may already have insurance but it seems like the bands who get stuff stolen never do."

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Have I really lived?

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Kat Von D, Marta (Bleeding Through), Karin Axelsson (Sonic Syndicate), Kristen Randall (Winds Of Plague), Laura Nichol (Light This City), Maria Brink (In This Moment)... So says Revolver... what do you say?

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This week the New York Post published an article regarding the current state of the Jackson family. Collectively, the Jacksons have sold hundreds of millions of albums. Of course most of those sales are due to Michael and Janet Jackson, who together have sold over 600 million albums. But The Jackson 5 were no slouches either, selling nearly 100 million albums. Any way you slice it, you'd think there would be enough money to go around, but apparently not. Here's the current rundown, courtesy of the Post:

- Joseph Jackson, 79 and Katherine Jackson, 77: Dad hustles various girl groups in Las Vegas. Mom is still a stay-at-home housewife and the only family member in contact with Michael. Both have previously filed for bankruptcy.

- Marlon Jackson, 51: an original Jackson Five member who stocks shelves at a Vons supermarket in San Diego, had to temporarily move into an extended-stay hotel.

- Janet Jackson, 41: the current family breadwinner. She bought her mom a Vegas home in anticipation of losing the family's mansion, Hayvenhurst, to foreclosure. Like their Neverland colleagues, workers at Hayvenhurst have not been paid for months.

- La Toya Jackson, 52: family turncoat who declared Michael guilty during the 1993 molestation case, she earns a living mostly in Europe and in the UAE judging beauty and singing contests. She lives with a wealthy boyfriend in Beverly Hills and has little contact with her siblings.

- Tito Jackson, 55: formed a blues band several years ago and plays at small venues for $500 to $1,500 a gig.

- Randy Jackson, 46: does odd jobs like changing tires to support himself. He was Michael's business manager during the 2005 molestation trial but ran into serious problems with friends after he persuaded three people to take out lines of credits against their homes to help Michael pay his attorney fees and Michael stiffed them.

- Jackie Jackson, 56: the oldest son started an Internet clothing business and is trying to produce records by his sons. Nothing has panned out.

- Jermaine Jackson, 54: splits time between the parents' Hayvenhurst mansion and his girlfriend's home in the San Fernando Valley. With more than $5 million in federal, state and other liens against him and a 1995 bankruptcy filing, he doesn't work or have a regular income.

I'd buy that "Tito" hat in a heartbeat.

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There are maybe ten metal albums that every self-respecting fan of heavy music should own. I won't list them all, but Sepultura's "Arise," Slayer's "Reign In Blood," and Metallica's "Master Of Puppets" are all on the list. Obvious choices, indeed.

Today, I want to bring up another obvious album - Morbid Angel's landmark slab o' death metal, "Covenant." If you aren't hearing blast beats from "Rapture" in your head at this very moment, you haven't spent enough time with the album. I'd say that 95% of today's death metal is completely worthless when compared to "Covenant." The album was released in 1993, and still sounds as modern (musically speaking) as most of the bullshit being peddled today.

It's not an underground album. It's not difficult to find. The album actually sold over 100,000 copies in the U.S. and is one of the most successful death metal releases ever. Most of you (I hope) have the album in one form or another. This blog entry was solely for the edification of a small minority. You know what to do.

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Prince Thun [to Emperor Ming the Merciless]: We the people of Ardentia... we have suffered since you blasted our kingdom. I can offer you nothing this year, except my loyalty.

General Klytus: Prince Thun, we prize nothing more highly. Tell us, how great is this loyalty to your emperor?

Prince Thun: Without measure.

Emperor Ming the Merciless: We are delighted to hear it. Fall on your sword.

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I was truly saddened to hear that Roy Scheider died yesterday. He is, of course, known for his work as Chief Brody in Jaws, but Scheider will always be be Officer Frank Murphy to me! For the 99.5% of you who have no idea who Frank Murphy was, he was the heroic helicoptor pilot in 1983's Blue Thunder.

Blue Thunder was the first Rated-R movie I actually saw in the theater, and strangely, I just watched it again for the first time since a few weeks ago. I had wondered what Scheider was up to these days, but I guess now I know.

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Right now I'm watching this Moment Of Truth show on Fox. Basically, they ask people questions and the contestant must tell the truth to win money. They're given polygraph tests beforehand so that their answers can be verified. Each additional question is supposed to be more uncomfortable than the previous, and the prize money goes up each time. The contestant can stop at any time and take their money. If they aren't truthful however, even once, they lose all of their money.

The questions range from trivial ("Do you think your mother is overweight?"), to comical ("Are you a member of the Hairclub for Men"), to potentially problematic ("Do you blame your father for breaking up your family?"). For the most part though, they're really stupid, and quite easy for the contestant to answer. If you have skeletons in your closet ("Have you ever tortured a puppy?"), or can't be truthful, don't go on the fucking show. It's as simple as that.

The beauty pageant chick on the show right now just won $100,000 (for now) for answering the following truthfully: "As an adult, have you ever taken a nude picture of yourself?" Dramatic sound effects started playing and they went directly to commercial break before showing her answer, as if this was some earth-shattering query. When the show returned, she playfully laughed and said "no." She then took her $100,000 and quit. Wow, how compelling. This show blows.

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Yes, we've all heard the rumors about Victory Records. I have no idea how many of those are true. However, I do know that the department that I deal with has had extremely high turnover (or mortality rate) during the past few years. During the course of the last six years or so, I've had roughly 10 contacts at the Victory Publicity department. And over the past year, I've had about five. Just when I get to know someone, poof, they're gone.

Lately, the pattern has been the same. Each publicity contact is a female, seemingly in her early-20s. Out of the blue, they will email me (along with their other contacts) to introduce themselves; "Hi, I'm Jane Doe, and I'm your new Victory Records contact. I'm taking over for Jennifer Doe." Eventually, they will call me with a contest request or something. They're all extremely personable and friendly. After the second or third call, I start to think to myself, "Ok, maybe this person will be around for awhile!" Then, several weeks later, it happens. They disappear without warning. This just occurred again yesterday, and it's extremely frustrating from my perspective."

I want answers!

Update: Regarding the "intern" suggestion, I actually asked one of them late last year if she was an intern and she said that she wasn't. Perhaps she lied. Perhaps things have changed over there. I know they weren't always interns, because twice I had the same contact for roughly a year. I just went to their website though, and what do you know, they are offering publicity internships. Well, fuck this. I demand to deal directly with Tony Brummel in the future. This is an outrage.

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